tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6492189539871377088.post6135839116007507782..comments2023-10-30T16:05:57.611-04:00Comments on Henry's GPC Blog: Critical Analysis of Lloyd on the HBO Series, EntourageGPCHenryThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04571137596901769483noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6492189539871377088.post-24830886139026336922018-12-21T07:19:12.837-05:002018-12-21T07:19:12.837-05:00Choose the finest Independent Bangalore Escorts fo...Choose the finest Independent Bangalore Escorts for 100% pleasing service. Enjoy the genuine independent Escorts in Ranchi with Our Hot and Sexy Call Girls<br /><br />https://ranchiescorts.onlineAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04344310884556763101noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6492189539871377088.post-39293106900841378172010-07-19T16:06:27.711-04:002010-07-19T16:06:27.711-04:00Henry-
Hannah said it all! You chose a great char...Henry-<br />Hannah said it all! You chose a great character from Entourage for this analysis; however, you seemed to stray from the assignment rather quickly in your intro. Therefore, to point you in the right direction for the next assignments, look at the following in addressing the need for a clear and focused thesis, paragraph structure, more analysis and less narration, as well as the need to use the terms of the analysis accurately:<br />Intro is too vague:<br />When you write your intro, keep a couple of issues in mind:<br />-You need to know what you're introducing to your readers; therefore, it is helpful to write it last.<br />-Avoid generalizations, such as "many people say" unless you plan on citing a statistic that illustrates that the "p-value" is statistically significant and consistent with your assertion about "many people," "most people," etc.<br />-Your thesis needs to be as clear and focused as possible; therefore, the thesis needs to specify what you're analyzing (i.e. the show episode through a specific character) and for what reason (i.e. to demonstrate that this character, in the chosen episode, conveys clear messages and meanings about what it means to be a man or a woman.<br />-Your readers need to know what show/character/etc you're analyzing by the end of your intro.<br />Thesis Specificity:<br />Make your thesis as specific as possible and don't leave anything unclear or without the definition you plan to argue.<br />When you use a term vaguely or inaccurately in your thesis, you're setting yourself up for a difficult analysis in the paragraphs that follow. <br />Be careful with your quote usage; therefore, remember to use quotes selectively to back up specific points. When you jump from a paragraph with a point from one author, directly to another paragraph that quotes a different author, the points the author makes should be backing up the same point you've made in the paragraph preceding the first paragraph with quoted work. <br />The following outline can be used as a reference point (the numbers indicate the paragraph sequence) to structure and order a basic, written analysis:<br />1. Intro Paragraph (with thesis at the last sentence)<br /><br />2. Point A (your first point/assertion that supports your thesis)<br /><br />3. Point A with quote from "expert witness" (author cited through the use of a direct quote to back up your point/assertion made in paragraph 2)<br /><br />4. Point B (your point/assertion that supports your thesis that can be directly linked with point A, so that your transition from point A to B is logical and adds depth to your analysis)<br /><br />5. Point B with quote from "expert witness" (author cited through the use of a direct quote to back up your point/assertion made in paragraph 4)<br /><br />....<br />.... repeat the steps above until your points have been made and you've adequately proven your thesis.<br /><br />#. Conclusion (after all points have been made)<br /><br />Transitions:<br />The transitions between paragraphs are important places to make analytical links between the "parts" through which your analysis has been broken down into (so you can support your thesis).<br /><br />:o)<br /><br />JessieAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00882202558089495129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6492189539871377088.post-5938261025085536292010-07-16T19:16:37.960-04:002010-07-16T19:16:37.960-04:00Strength:
I thought your introduction and conclus...Strength:<br /><br />I thought your introduction and conclusion were interesting. I liked the fact that you discussed by adding a Chinese American homosexual into the mix. It added diversity into a racially homogeneous show. <br /><br />I thought it was interesting how you examined the relationship between Lloyd and Ari. I thought by discussing the relationship, you help to demonstrate the uniqueness of the portrayal of Lloyd .<br /><br />I liked your piece in the beginning about Lloyd breaking the stereotype of Chinese Americans in the media. I thought the quote you included helped to prove your point effectively.<br /><br />Weakness:<br /><br />I thought you should have broken down the paragraphs. I found myself getting lost in your prose, and therefore have trouble grasping the full meaning. I thought if they were shorter, it might have been easier to follow your argument. Also, be careful of run-on sentences.<br /><br />I wish that you had addressed masculinity and femininity more directly. Although your ideas about sexuality and race were interesting, I thought if you had more analysis about gender, it would have strengthened the ideas present in your paper. <br /><br />Lastly, I think you could have strengthened your thesis statement. I had trouble picking out a definitive subject for the paper.<br /><br />Just a note: If possible, in your next blog, I would encourage you to use the same font throughout your paper. It looks a bit better stylistically.Hannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06552779136850783619noreply@blogger.com